The Freedom of Non-duality
- Surfrrosa
- Jan 6, 2024
- 4 min read
Last night I had a dream that I was floating around as a bubble or ball of energy. It was very game-like. I decided to pop into a shopping mall, and when I would float up to people an action menu would pop up. Actually, it wasn't only people, I could also interact with objects in the physical world, but I decided that I wanted to interact with a person instead.
I floated up to a girl walking to the exit of the mall I had just entered, and the menu popped up just like it would in any video game. I can't remember all the options, but I ended up choosing to influence her mood. That was the action I chose. There was a horizontal slider that I could use to move along a spectrum. It was similar to turning up volume or the brightness on a computer or smartphone.
One end of the spectrum was anger/fear and the other end of the spectrum was joy/excitement. I remember sliding the bar almost all the way to the right, and I saw a thought bubble pop up over the girl's head. She laughed, jumped up in the air, and then skipped the rest of the way out of the mall. It was bizarre and hilarious. It is also the first dream I distinctly remember not having a body. I was an orb of golden light, a mist.

The gift of non-judgement is the spaciousness required to embrace non-duality.
Life is a constant exploration of contrast.
Duality often refers to the existence of two opposing forces or elements. In many philosophical systems, such as Taoism, duality is represented by complementary forces, like yin and yang, which are contrary but interconnected. These forces or principles are thought to exist in harmony, and the balance between them is what gives rise to the phenomena of the natural world.
We see duality all around us. We operate in the world through both conscious and unconscious means. We have the rational and the emotional mind. We have judgement that gives rise to compelling stories of good and evil. In the physical world, we experience day and night, the masculine and feminine, we have predators and prey to help maintain healthy ecosystems, and the Earth's own magnetic field has a polarity that has reversed multiple times throughout history. In nature, there is the symmetrical and asymmetrical. Physics, we have matter and antimatter and wave-partical duality in quantum mechanics.
In our everyday lives, we experience the physical and non-physical world. We have the mind and the body, the head and the heart. We have our inner world as well as our outer world, aspirations and limitations, collective and individual needs and desires. We are faced with constant decisions of 'or's. This is the old paradigm, however. The world has been blossoming into an 'and' world. After the extremes of contrast are observed and integrated, we move toward balance. From balance, we are empowered with choice and can work within the fullness of contrasted experience. Duality becomes an interconnected bridge, a whole experience that we can draw upon to create our lives.
The integration and experience of duality provides the context for non-duality (which, paradoxically, creates another duality.) Let me give an easy example. Let's say that we have a needy child here with us, and we are becoming agitated with our 'needy' child. We scold the child for being too needy, and that child is then thrusted into the awareness of being needy. Let's pretend this child grows older with the subconscious thought that they are needy and subconsciously rebels. The child grows into an adult who is hyper independent. Now, this adult has 'solved' the issue of being needy, because they have become independent physically, emotionally, and psychologically. The adult experiences issues with relationships due to hyper-independence and goes to see a therapist who makes them aware of this. So, now the adult has the full awareness of both their neediness and independence. With that awareness, the adult can now theoretically bridge their contrasting beliefs. With awareness, the extremes can be held at once and integrated.
Once the contrast is integrated it can be discarded as it is now experiential and a fuller picture comes into view. The adult can recognize that they can have needs for others while maintaining their independence. The non-duality of seemingly contrasting beliefs can be applied anywhere in our lives.
I can be thankful for what I have and want more out of life.
I can acknowledge another's version of reality and still maintain and honor my own experience.
I can love someone and dislike their decisions.
I can be proud of myself and retain my humility.
I can grieve the loss of someone and still find moments of joy and laughter.
I can be strong while facing challenges and also be vulnerable about my need for support.
I can have a strong sense of national identity and embrace other cultures and viewpoints.
I can be cautious of technology and still find technology useful.
I can be an individual with autonomy and be in an interdependent relationship.
I can have a masculine body and be more aligned with my femininity.
I can be skeptical and admit that I don't know.
It's the realization and recognition that choosing one does not mean the absence of the other. It's the understanding that both are actually inseparable. One cannot exist without the other. The movement towards non-duality is the expansion of consciousness in which opposition becomes irrelevant, multidimensionality arises, and the concept of duality becomes unified.
The gift of non-judgement is the spaciousness that allows us to step back and find that unity. Judgement pushes us into contrasting ideas and has been necessary for the evolution of consciousness but is no longer needed going forward. I believe it will actually work to one's disadvantage if they stay in a dual belief system. Instead of conscious or unconscious reactions triggered by judgement, we can experience the true freedom of choice. We can hold many beliefs at once through a unified state of consciousness and approach.
Currently inspired by
Comments